As devastating as breakups can be, they can also be liberating. However, those exciting moments of liberation can quickly be followed by dread and panic. Perhaps it’s because you were in a relationship or married for years or have been single for too long. Whatever the underlying cause, these fears and concerns are perfectly normal.
Meeting new people, under any circumstance, doesn’t come easy to many of us. However, these few tips can help you get over the dating blues and back into the dating game with confidence.
Revive your self-esteem.
Besides the tears and loneliness, another horrible thing about breakups or divorce is how it messes with your self-esteem. Many people struggle with insecurity and a loss of self-confidence after breakups, making it difficult for them to move forward and build new connections.
If you feel this way, it means you’ll need to find new ways to regain your self-esteem. Admittedly, this won’t be easy as it takes practice and effort. However, you can start by loving yourself. Simple things like getting styling your hair, going shopping, or visiting a nail salon for a gel manicure, can go a long way in shifting your mindset.
For instance, if you don’t like long nails or fake nails, you can opt for a french manicure or gel polish on your natural nails. You can search online for designs for gel nails to access different gel nail design ideas and pick whatever suits you, whether it’s square nails, neon nails, pink nails, or glitter nails.
Be clear about what you want.
As the saying goes, “once bitten, twice shy,” so take no shame in having standards about the kind of partner you want. So, go ahead and make a list of the qualities you want from your future partner. However, remember to make this list as realistic as possible. When you have a list, it’s easy to see which qualities are important to you and ends up saving you the trouble of wasting your time on people who don’t align with your values and principles.
Let’s say, for example, that you’re of Iranian heritage and find dating someone from your culture to be important. In that case, you should state it down on your list. Doing so makes it easier for you to sift through the places and online dating chat rooms you visit. For instance, instead of using a general social media platform like Clubhouse, you can opt for a free Iranian chat room. In an Iranian chat room, you’re more likely to find a potential partner with whom you share a personal connection and are willing to move things to the next level.
Forget about the past.
It’s true that history contributes to who we are. However, to confidently get back into the dating game, you must learn to pick and choose only the lessons from your past and forget the rest. Many people make the error of getting too stuck in their past relationships, so much so that it’s all they want to talk about, even with potential partners. No one wants to sit through a date and listen to you talk about your ex, so don’t do that. Instead, focus on general topics and get to know them.
Also, avoid judging your potential partner based on the mistakes of your ex. Remember that they’re different people, and they don’t necessarily share the same personality traits.
Be patient and enjoy the process.
Contrary to what the movies show us, it’s quite rare to meet the love of your life immediately after a breakup, and for the most part, that’s a good thing. That’s because it gives you time to meet people, make new friends, have new experiences, and learn new things about yourself. So, try not to overburden yourself with data plans or feel miserable because you are yet to secure a partner. Instead, learn to enjoy the process and have fun through it.
