The Best Way to Ask Your Partner to Move in With You

a man and woman sitting on a bench by a fire

These days, for some people, asking a partner to move in with them is the equivalent of getting engaged. With couples of the younger generation waiting longer and longer to get married, moving in together has become a rite of passage as a relationship grows and matures. A sign of commitment, many are asking their partners to move in with them in ways they hope always to remember if you want to ask your partner to move in with you and aren’t sure how to read on.

Asking with Style


While it’s not like you need an engagement ring to ask someone to move in with you, many people are hitting jewelry stores to offer a memento to celebrate this big relationship milestone. For example, northern Virginia jewelers have seen more than one customer looking for that perfect pendant to mark the move-in date and question. Jewelry, especially pendants or charm bracelets that look like a home or in the form of a key, are unique tokens of this step forward in commitment.

Once you have a basic plan, think about other ways to mark the occasion. A trip to a favorite space or even a picnic could be the perfect way to start the conversation.

Popping the Question


The same way you’d propose to a potential fiance, you might want to think about creative ways this question can happen. Whether or not you opted for custom jewelry, another token, or nothing at all, finding a romantic way to ask your partner to move in together could be a great down payment on a start at your new life together. Things to consider are time, place, and shared interests.

Where could you ask him or her? Is there a special place you like to go? Who’s home do you hope to move into? If it’s your place, maybe a welcome sign and empty drawers could be a great place to leave a card after a home-cooked meal. Are you thinking of somewhere new together? A fancy dinner and prearranged date with a realtor might work too if you’re sure you’re partner will want to live with you soon.

Before planning how you’ll ask, think about conversations, you’ve shared about the potential of moving in together. If it’s something you’ve already talked about before, you already have a basic idea of what will and won’t work. Use these ideas to formulate the perfect time, way, and place to pop the question.

The Logistics


Before you even consider asking your partner about living together, you’ll want to know what you’re looking for. What is your motive for asking them? Are you looking for someone to share a home loan with? Is the relationship getting more serious? Do you plan to marry them? Will this arrangement be long or short term? There are no wrong answers here, but asking your partner to move in together should start with a solid plan.

Knowing what you want and being sure you are ready to go in will help if they return your question with their own questions.

Important Conversation Items


Having a conversation about moving in together is great practice for actually doing it. Before moving day comes, you’ll want to be sure you’re on the same page with things like finances, household chores, and how you’ll use your free time and shared space. Consider a list of topics and work hard to do your best listening. The better you both communicate your needs, wants, and boundaries, the more likely you are to be glad about your decision to merge your lives in this important way.

In the end, asking a partner to move in or live with you is a big step. No matter how you ask, be sure you’re ready for the commitment and that they are too. Think of ways to make it memorable and personal, review the logistics, and have those important conversations about boundaries, pets, responsibilities, and expectations, and you’ll be great. Congratulations and happy moving day!